Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Going viral on Twitch:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Just shared via Discord:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Going viral on Telegram:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The struggle was real! Back in the day, we had to worry about one ringy dingy and not battery percentage! ☎️💸📞

carry, case, childhood, daughter, having, humor, just, making, memory, nostalgia, parent, payphone, quarter, remember

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

0

21 hours ago

every, friend, friends, friendship, hang, hangout, healing, humor, know, little, me, support, time
Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, anything, argument, concede, i, leave, leave alone, me, online, sociopathic, stranger, trying, win
I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, disappointment, everyday, house, humor, i, life, mean, mirror, self-image, self-reflection
Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

0

2 months ago

adult, asking, aspiration, career, child, children, dream, grow, growth, humor, idea, want
I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

0

1 month ago

40s, age, before, birthday, confusion, forty, humor, i, know, memory, remember
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

0

2 months ago

consider, exercise, fitness, humor, i, irony, jogger, running, smiling, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Slack this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Just landed via Instagram:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Making waves on Instagram:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Just shared via Discord:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Going viral on Reddit:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Just landed via WeChat:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨