Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Making waves on Discord:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Just shared via Twitch:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Making waves on X:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Trending via Threads:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Just shared via X:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Making waves on Twitch:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Live now on Pinterest:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like I'm so good at anger management, I've managed to stay angry! 🤬😅

anger, anger management, class, doctor, frustration, humor, i, management, me, pissed, should, still, told, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

4 weeks ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

2 months ago

chewing, coworking, distraction, everyone, guy, guys, humor, job, office, office humor, pretty, space, sure, work, workplace
Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

2 months ago

depressing, emotion, ex, humor, i, love, media, miss, myself, people, post, relationship, shit, social, social media, start
I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

2 months ago

distraction, doing, doing well, email, humor, me, productivity, unexpected, well
Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

2 months ago

annoyance, chip, chips, conflict, divorce, eating, humor, potato, potato chip, relationship, snack, spouse, try, TV, watch
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

2 months ago

attraction, before, cannibalism, funny observation, glimpse, hot, humor, intimacy, kiss, kissing, love, moment, moments, observation, people, romance, seeing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Slack this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

80 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

72 shares on Threads this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

86 shares on X this month:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Spotted on Telegram:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Just landed via Threads:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Just landed via Messenger:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨