Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Just shared via Threads:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Spotted on Facebook:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spotted on Facebook:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Live now on YouTube:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Spotted on X:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Making waves on WeChat:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess that explains why my DNA results came back as 50% rye and 50% 'party time'! 🥃🤣🧬"

alcohol, family, family joke, gene, genetics, humor, joke, pool, poor, poverty, sarcasm, too, whiskey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

0

2 months ago

bourbon, cup, disguise, drinking, enjoying, fun, hot, humor, meeting, occasionally, social, tea, think, Zoom
Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

0

2 months ago

chicken, eating, food, funny thought, humor, i, just, light, middle, myself, question, red, red light, run, self-reflection, thought
If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

0

2 months ago

bitter, bitter end, comfort, dark, dark humor, end, ever, feel, humor, i, knowing, mouth, murder, ran, ran mouth, sarcasm
Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

0

2 months ago

90s, activity, adventure, childhood, fun, fun activity, interaction, know, nostalgia, outside, phone, put, social, social interaction, technology
Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, asleep, awake, day, fall, humor, just, night, sleep, stay, trying
He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

0

2 months ago

comedy, delicious, delusional, humor, i, me, meant, play, play on words, pun, think, wit, wordplay, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

44 shares on X this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Breaking via Pinterest:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Trending via WeChat:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Going bananas on Facebook:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Just shared via Slack:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨