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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has viewed:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Earth is hard.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has viewed:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Reddit:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Going bananas on X:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Trending via TikTok:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Breaking via Slack:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.
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Commentary:
Gliding into first place in the Olympics of love! β„οΈβ›ΈοΈπŸ˜‚

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

41 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

20 shares on X this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

39 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We’ve got a shituation here.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

β€œLove is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

β€œYou win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has shared:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Discord:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Spotted on Messenger:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Just shared via YouTube:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Going viral on YouTube:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Shared recently on Slack:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Just shared via Discord:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever β€” time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Trending via Instagram:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

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