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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

Going bananas on X:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Making waves on Pinterest:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Broadcasted on X:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Trending via Instagram:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Going viral on Threads:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

1 week ago

Witty text about childhood sleep habits, humorously highlighting rare restful nights.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when our biggest achievement was a full night's sleep! 😴💤 Definitely a cherished memory that we all took for granted as kids. Now we're just chasing that elusive 'rested' feeling like it's a mythical creature! 🦄😂"

able, being, childhood, humor, memory, night, nostalgia, rested, sleep, waking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

39 shares on X this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Trending via Discord:

I run a parody bank account.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Making waves on X:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

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