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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Imagine being social on social media.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Breaking via Facebook:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Trending via Threads:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Trending via X:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Breaking via YouTube:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Just landed via Discord:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

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My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when our biggest achievement was a full night's sleep! 😴💤 Definitely a cherished memory that we all took for granted as kids. Now we're just chasing that elusive 'rested' feeling like it's a mythical creature! 🦄😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Discord this month:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

71 shares on Threads this month:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

51 shares on Slack this month:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

98 shares on Slack this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Going viral on Discord:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Making waves on YouTube:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Just landed via X:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Going viral on Threads:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Just shared via Instagram:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I had too much to think last night.

Just shared via Snapchat:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

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