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Looks like your guardian angel is on an extended smoke break, probably practicing some next-level cloud-making skills ☁️🚬! Hopefully, they remember they've got a job to do and come back before you need a miracle or two! 🌟😇 #UnbreakableBondWithMyGuardianAngels

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

1 month ago
alcohol, bad, bad day, bar, coping, coping mechanism, day, drinking, humor, i, liquor, liquor store, mechanism, stop, store, today
I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

2 months ago
20s, 25, 30s, 35, actually, age, decade, humor, life, life stage, perception, self, self-perception, stage
Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

1 month ago
ability, detail, direction, distraction, exaggeration, humor, incredible, irony, self-deprecating, superpower, wrong, wrong direction
I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

2 months ago
1992, composure, humor, i, loss, lost, memory, time
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

3 months ago
afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

2 weeks ago
accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

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I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

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The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

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Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

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We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

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Just shared via Facebook:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Trending via Pinterest:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Trending via Instagram:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Going viral on Slack:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

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My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

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My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

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