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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Making waves on Facebook:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Live now on Instagram:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Live now on Threads:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Breaking via Threads:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Spotted on Reddit:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just landed via Pinterest:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Breaking via Reddit:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

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My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.
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Commentary:
Can't blame him, he's cleaning his suit of armor! 🧽🛡️😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

48 shares on X this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

85 shares on X this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Freshly posted on X:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Trending via Reddit:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Making waves on X:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Just shared via Discord:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Just shared via Slack:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

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