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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

10 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Going viral on Discord:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Breaking via Discord:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Breaking via TikTok:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

6 months ago

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

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Commentary:
🍽️ When your husband starts reading the menu out loud like it's the most thrilling novel in the world, you know you're in for a wild dining experience! 🙈 Who knew deciding between steak or chicken could be such an epic saga? Maybe we should start a support group for menu-reading partners! 🤣 #MenuMania

age, dining, help, humor, husband, loud, marriage, menu, questions, reading, send, where, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

10 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Spotted on TikTok:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Spotted on WeChat:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Making waves on Pinterest:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Breaking via Instagram:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

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