Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Going viral on Discord:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Trending via Twitch:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Just shared via Instagram:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Making waves on Facebook:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Live now on YouTube:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Going viral on Threads:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

2 weeks ago

Witty quote about kidnapping with dark humor and playful sarcasm.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, talk about a combination of coming back with a bang, or should we say a snip! 😂 Looks like even kidnappers have a sense of remorse and a finger-counting lesson to go along with it. 🤭 Who knew that leaving early could also come with a severance package? 🤞🏼💸 #UnexpectedTurnOfEvents

apology, back, early, fingers, full, me, money

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

60 shares on X this month:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

57 shares on Threads this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Just shared via WeChat:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Just landed via Discord:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Trending via Threads:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Seen just now on Discord:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Trending via TikTok:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Trending via WeChat:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Spotted on Twitch:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

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