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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Making waves on Threads:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Trending via WeChat:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Just shared via X:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

My life is based on a true story.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "My life is based on a true story… but it could definitely use some better editing and a few plot twists! 📚✨"

comedy, humor, irony, life, self-deprecation, story, true, true story

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

0

2 months ago

allergy, breath, exercise, fitness, heart, humor, i, irony, once, racing, sweating
Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

0

2 months ago

adventure, anticipation, brand, choice, choices, excited, excitement, full, fun, humor, life, life choice, new, new year, questionable, questionable choice, Resolutions, super, year
Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

0

2 months ago

bar, bruno, Bruno Mars, freddie, Freddie Mercury, humor, joke, Mars, Mercury, music, planet, pun, sports, venus, Venus Williams, walk, williams
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

0

5 months ago

behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute
I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

0

2 months ago

classics, ever, every, FOMO, humor, i, literature, making, me, read, reading, reference, references, understand, understanding, want
Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

0

2 months ago

coping, everything, fine, gaslight, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, needs, self, therapy, thinking, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

51 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Trending via Pinterest:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Going viral on Discord:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Spotted on Instagram:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

About to form my very first opinion.

Going viral on Reddit:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My life is based on a true story.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨