Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical powers of yoga — turning lower back pain into upper back gain! 🧘‍♂️🚀 Who knew stretching could be so magical? Maybe next it'll turn my pizza cravings into salad cravings! 🍕➡️🥗 #YogaWizardry"

back, back pain, exercise, flexibility, health, humor, irony, morning, morning routine, pain, routine, upper, yoga

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

0

5 months ago

40, age, age range, app, dating, dating app, drinking, fight, fighting, grape, humor, over, range, set, while, wine
Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

0

2 months ago

analogy, driving, fear, highway, humor, journey, life, merge
Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

0

2 months ago

actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt
I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

0

2 months ago

am, compliment, difference, disdain, disinterest, dumb, easier, humor, i, ignorance, irony, life, luck, lucky, much, sarcasm, sarcastic, self-deprecating, simplicity, tell
I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

0

2 months ago

add, benefits, change, comedy, dating, Facebook, friends, friendship, humor, i, joke, me, media, name, name change, people, playful, pun, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

23 shares on X this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

65 shares on Discord this month:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

40 shares on X this month:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Going viral on X:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Seen just now on Twitch:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Just shared via Discord:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Just landed via Snapchat:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m running out of people I like.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨