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Commentary:
"Summer body status update: buffering… 🕒👙 Don't worry, I'm on island time – it's just taking a little longer to download that six-pack abs update! 😅💪 #ProcrastinationGameStrong"

body, fitness, humor, pending, procrastination, self-deprecation, summer, summer body, ten, ten years, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

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2 months ago

brevity, communication, humor, just, lol, move, move on, online, online communication, reaction, say, simplicity
Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal antics, antics, behavior, best, best friend, bite, companionship, early, early morning, excitement, friend, humor, market, morning, pet, pet behavior, puppy
Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, being, financial, financial struggle, huge, humor, inconvenience, luxury, me, money, rich, sarcasm, struggle, wealth, wealth aspiration
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

0

2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well
If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

0

2 months ago

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

32 shares on X this month:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Spotted on Facebook:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Breaking via WeChat:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Spotted on X:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Spotted on X:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Going viral on WeChat:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Spotted on Twitch:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨