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Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

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My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

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My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

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The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

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If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

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Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

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When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

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I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.