Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Live now on Discord:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Going viral on Discord:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous text about a playful Amazon delivery mix-up with a witty twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Amazon drivers are basically family at this point! 🚚📦 Knock knock, just checking in on my favorite customers! 😂📞

Amazon, anything, delivery, driver, humor, knock, misunderstanding, morning, ok, order, sure, us, wife, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

2 weeks ago

conflict, expectations, extrovert, introvert, personality, pissed, plans, self, social, too
Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

2 weeks ago

dependency, done, ever, expectations, growth, health, humor, man, me, meds, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, relationships, self-care
This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

6 days ago

acting, bit, fake, humor, i, joke, life, method, method acting, none, performance, real, role-playing, work, working, year
What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

3 weeks ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth
There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

3 weeks ago

am, dislike, honesty, humor, i, irony, me, people, self-awareness, self-deprecation
Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

1 week ago

Cheeto, contrast, crumbs, humor, lady, lifestyle, sheets, snack, streets

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

14 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

88 shares on Threads this month:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

10 shares on Slack this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

51 shares on Threads this month:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Breaking via Threads:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Making waves on Telegram:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Shared recently on Discord:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Going viral on Slack:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Going viral on Discord:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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