Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like someone's stealthily sneaking onto the weekend getaway train! 🕵️‍♂️🚆 Either way, it sounds like a surprise adventure awaits! Just be prepared for the reaction when the secret is out! 😄 #WeekendSurprise

away, coming, excited, going, humor, knows, pretty, sure, surprise, trip, weekend, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

0

2 months ago

columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

0

2 months ago

better, cereal, explain, food, humor, i, morning, night, preference, snack, taste
Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

0

2 months ago

happiness, humor, irony, life, lifestyle, living, means, nothing, quality, spending
My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

0

2 months ago

around, avoidance, cleaning, cloth, cut, dirt, floor, humor, i, just, kitchen, line, procrastination, relatable, robot, same, spin, vacuum
Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

0

2 months ago

4AM, contemplation, dad, hour, humor, i, just, kitchen, kitchen table, know, morning, morning routine, routine, sit, table, used, wake, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

86 shares on Telegram this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

96 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Just landed via Slack:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Seen just now on X:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨