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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Just shared via Discord:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Just landed via Discord:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Breaking via Threads:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Shared recently on Discord:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Spotted on Threads:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Spotted on Reddit:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your ex's love for you is scarier than a horror movie 🤦‍♂️👻💔

dating, ex, fear, humor, love, me, relationship, someone, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

0

2 months ago

bot, communication, days, good, humor, memory, message, messaging, nostalgia, old, person, remember, technology, wonder
I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

0

2 months ago

answer, asked, humor, identity, joke, LGBTQ, me, misunderstanding, people, question, society, straight, straight answer
That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

always, feel, guys, hour, humor, irony, media, much, nice, procrastination, scroll, self-reflection, social, social media, tomorrow, Twitter, worse
Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

0

2 months ago

amusement, anyone, awkwardness, comedy, disgusting, grown, grown man, humor, man, moves, parenting, physical, physical comedy, responsibility, seeing, stumble, train, transportation
They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

0

2 months ago

car, cars, humor, mall, nostalgia, put, shopping, used
I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

0

3 days ago

abyss, adventure, around, evening, exploring, humor, i, routine, start, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

88 shares on Twitch this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Trending via Twitch:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Breaking via X:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Trending via TikTok:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨