Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🍷 Why clean when you can have a thrilling grape adventure? The fridge can wait, but wine can't – it's getting old! 😂🍇 #WineOverResponsibilities"

adulting, clean, cleaning, drink, fridge, going, humor, need, procrastination, responsible, thing, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

0

2 months ago

casual, communication, email, follow, follow up, humor, ignored, procrastination, reminder
Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

0

2 months ago

band, favorite, font, heavy, heavy metal, Helvetica, humor, joke, metal, sounds, typography
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

0

2 months ago

breakup, comedy, dating, ex, graph, humor, i, joke, past, relationships, sarcasm, why
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

0

2 months ago

behavior, digital, digital behavior, excuse, failed, honesty, hour, humor, humor about truth, i, just, later, lying, me, online, procrastination, say, truth
It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

0

4 months ago

communication, Epstein, exaggeration, file, frustration, humor, lie, need
My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body confidence, confidence, humor, just, lighting, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, winter, winter body

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

99 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

20 shares on Slack this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Spotted on Threads:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Trending via Pinterest:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Just shared via YouTube:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨