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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

31 seconds ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Just shared via Snapchat:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Spotted on TikTok:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Reported on Twitch:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Just landed via Threads:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.
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Commentary:
"Who needs a 401k when your retirement plan involves running like Forrest Gump? 🏃‍♂️💨 Clearly, this person prefers sprinting to saving for the long haul! 😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

31 seconds ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Making waves on Threads:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Going viral on Messenger:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Just shared via X:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

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