Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs flower petals when you have a chauffeur service, am I right? 🌸🚗 No kids, no problem! Keeping the wedding child-free and the flower girl worry-free. 😄 #UberGoals"

done, flower, flower girl, girl, home, humor, kids, planning, Uber, wedding, wedding planning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

0

2 months ago

answer, before, clever, confusion, huh, humor, humorous, i, mindset, question, quick, quick response, repeat, response, sarcasm, say, sometimes, wit
Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

0

2 months ago

Americans, breakfast, candidates, cereal, choice, choose, humor, only, over, politics, presidential
Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

0

2 months ago

cheat, cheat code, code, codes, difficulty, game, hard, humor, level, parenting, teenager, teenagers, video, video game
So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

0

3 months ago

afterlife, audition, Earth, heaven, hell, humor, philosophy
I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, drink, humor, i, jittery, me, people, personality, picture
I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily functions, discomfort, fact, functions, funny observation, humor, i, ignore, life, observation, pee, procrastination, realization, spent, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

68 shares on Discord this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Trending via Reddit:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Live now on Slack:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Trending via Facebook:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Making waves on Messenger:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨