Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Going bananas on X:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Spotted on X:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing my inner angry futurist 🚀😡 All systems go on the rage rocket!

anger, attitude, back, emotion, forward, humor, looking, looking back, looking forward, motivation, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

0

3 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

0

2 months ago

body, body language, experiment, gender, humor, language, legs, playful, self-expression, sitting, wide
Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

0

2 months ago

alarm, before, else, favorite, humor, matters, Metallica, minutes, music, nothing, procrastination, sleep, song
The only joke my mom ever made was me.

0

2 months ago

ever, family, humor, joke, me, mom, parenting, self-deprecation, wit
They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, comedy, every, groan, grown up, humor, humor quote, time
I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

0

2 months ago

confidence, full, humor, i, mirror, mirrors, motivation, need, room, self, self-confidence, surrounded, want, winner

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

92 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

43 shares on Slack this month:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Live now on Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Just landed via Telegram:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Just landed via Messenger:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨