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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Shared recently on X:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Just landed via X:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Going bananas on Reddit:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Spotted on YouTube:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Humorous quote about parents dodging commitments with playful skepticism.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
" 'We'll see' is just parental code for 'Not a chance!' 😂👀🚫"

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

94 shares on Slack this month:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

20 shares on Slack this month:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Breaking via X:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Making waves on Slack:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Just landed via Instagram:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Just shared via Telegram:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Just landed via Twitch:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Just landed via Telegram:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Making waves on Slack:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

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