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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Breaking via Twitch:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Going bananas on Messenger:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Shared recently on X:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Seen just now on X:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Going bananas on Slack:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

0
No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.
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Commentary:
" 'We'll see' is just parental code for 'Not a chance!' 😂👀🚫"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life is based on a true story.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

85 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Just landed via Discord:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Freshly posted on Discord:

I disagree with my politics.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

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