Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew being single was the new trend among the *well-seasoned* crowd? 🤣 Looks like they've figured out the secret to eternal happiness – avoiding marriage! 🚫💍 #SingleAndSassy"

age, humor, life, love, married, relationship, single, unhappily

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

0

2 months ago

better, bitter, feelings, humor, i, old, perspective, thought
Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

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2 months ago

able, body, disassemble, enough, exercise, flexibility, humor, i, Lego, legos, need, stretching
Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

0

2 months ago

4, duration, humor, minutes, Monday, months, over, perception, Saturday, Sunday, time, weekend
Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

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5 months ago

call, dating, humor, love, others, relationship, romance, ruin, schedule, schedules, sleep, sleep schedule
Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

0

2 months ago

forget, humor, i, memory, pillow, sleep, want, where
It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

0

2 days ago

call, communication, humor, irony, key, life, love, million, quick, song, songs, stakeholder, work, work life, zero

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Seen just now on Threads:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Making waves on Slack:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Just landed via YouTube:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Trending via Twitch:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨