Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew being single was the new trend among the *well-seasoned* crowd? 🤣 Looks like they've figured out the secret to eternal happiness – avoiding marriage! 🚫💍 #SingleAndSassy"

age, humor, life, love, married, relationship, single, unhappily

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

0

2 months ago

advice, humor, life, mouth, opinion, sarcasm, self-expression
Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

0

2 months ago

car, DeLorean, great, great shape, humor, joke, looking, low, mileage, sell, shape, time, time travel, travel
I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

0

3 months ago

bird, early, early bird, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, night, night owl, owl, pigeon, sort, tired
When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

0

3 months ago

causing, choice, choices, diet, health, humor, lifestyle, mad, stomach, stomachache, sure, unhealthy, unhealthy lifestyle, upset, upset stomach
Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

0

2 months ago

anger, control, emotion, emotion management, frustration, job, management, work, workplace
If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

0

2 months ago

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

89 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Freshly posted on X:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Broadcasted on X:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨