Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Just landed via X:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Seen just now on Discord:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Making waves on X:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Trending via Telegram:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Making waves on X:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I thought growing up meant more freedom, not unlocking life like a 6-digit puzzle! 🔓🤔#AdultEscapeRoom

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

0

2 months ago

adventure, aspiration, bag, big, career, goal, humor, main, moment, money, treasure, woods
I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

0

2 months ago

birthday, Christmas, Easter, fat, Mother’s Day, weekend
I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

0

2 months ago

advice, employment, financial, financial advice, generational, generational wealth, guys, humor, i, joblessness, recommend, recommendation, wealth
The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

0

2 months ago

90s, bliss, culture, groupie, ignorance, lifestyle, music, nostalgia, rock, rock star, sleep, star, stars, time, where
Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

0

2 months ago

ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up
30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

0

2 months ago

50, aging, couch, dance, getting old

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on X this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

64 shares on Discord this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

40 shares on Slack this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Just shared via WeChat:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Going viral on Slack:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Breaking via Messenger:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Breaking via Threads:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Live now on TikTok:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨