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Looks like someone's multitasking their way through questionable arithmetic! 🧮💼 Who knew the abacus had a dark side? Just remember, the IRS might catch those sneaky moves! 😜🕵️‍♂️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

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2 months ago

back, bratwurst, cheese, cholesterol, food, health, humor, joke, just, level, results, test
I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

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2 months ago

angry, found, funny observation, humor, i, observation, people, pole, statistics, survey, tent
“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

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2 months ago

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Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

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2 months ago

affection, both, feeling, humor, i, irony, love, mutual, mutual feeling, relationship, unfortunately, us
Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

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2 months ago

habit, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, much, paper, paper towel, self-deprecation, towel, unfortunately, wealth, woman
Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

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2 months ago

clothing, fashion, fit, humor, once, over, pants, perfect, perfectly, style

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

41 shares on Discord this month:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

94 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

48 shares on X this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Breaking via WeChat:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Making waves on Instagram:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Live now on Discord:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

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Activity Log ✨

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨