Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Going viral on X:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Making waves on X:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Spotted on TikTok:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Spotted on TikTok:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Spotted on Messenger:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Just shared via YouTube:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Fridge or portal to Narnia? Either way, I'm still waiting for a snack surprise! 😅🥪✨

disappointment, fifth, food, fridge, harder, hope, hoping, humor, hunger, kitchen, magic, new, nothing, opening, snack, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

0

2 months ago

allergy, humor, irony, life, limitations, oyster, perspective, shellfish, world
Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, choices, fun, humor, i, irresponsible, irresponsible adult, life, life choices, responsibility, responsible, responsible adult, tired
If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

0

2 months ago

assume, communication, distracted, distraction, got, humor, i, message, reply, response, texting
We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

0

2 months ago

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, bedtime, discomfort, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, i, insomnia, relatable, sleep, sore, sore back, terrible, tiredness, wait, wake
My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

0

4 months ago

autumn, back, fall, favorite, hell, humor, insect, joke, mosquito, pest, season

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

41 shares on X this month:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Going viral on Slack:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Seen just now on Threads:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨