Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Jan 5, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Making waves on Facebook:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Going viral on X:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Just landed via Slack:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Making waves on X:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

2 months ago

0

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of stealthily dodging acquaintances in the produce aisle, perfecting the art of supermarket camouflage 🥦🕵️‍♂️ Who knew grocery shopping could turn into a modern-day game of hide and seek? #ProHideAndSeeker"

adult, adult life, anxiety, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery store, hiding, i, know, life, me, much, nothing, observation, people, prepared, social, social anxiety, spent, store

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

0

2 months ago

company, grow, hiring, humor, job, people, sign, work, workload
I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

0

2 months ago

expectation, frustration, humor, i, irony, mad, music, play, playlist, put, shuffle, song, technology, want
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

0

4 months ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience
Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

0

2 months ago

Bitcoin, boys, cash, comparison, finance, humor, joke, just, kohl’s, Kohl’s Cash, money, shopping
Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, Kanye, mean, name, personality, pretty, someone, yay
I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

0

2 months ago

adult, changes, growing, growing up, humor, life, life changes, stop, struggle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

67 shares on X this month:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

50 shares on Slack this month:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Trending via WeChat:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Spotted on TikTok:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Just shared via Instagram:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

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