Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Trending via Slack:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Making waves on TikTok:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Just shared via Telegram:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Live now on Reddit:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Just landed via X:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Breaking via Messenger:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Spotted on Threads:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable! Vented to my cat once, now he's plotting world domination. 😹🤦‍♂️ #Oops

awkward, awkward moment, communication, conversation, humor, mistake, moment, nothing, person, regret, venting, worse, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, cold, comfort, comfort food, feeling, food, food anxiety, fridge, good, humor, late, late night, night, sleep
Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

0

2 months ago

always, anytime, context, conversation, guy, humor, joke, reply, sarcasm, wit
Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

0

2 months ago

ambulance, doctors, health, hope, hospital, humor, i, irony, okay, seen
If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

0

3 months ago

awkward, contact, crush, ever, eye, eye contact, humor, i, imagination, interaction, just, know, much, social, social interaction, too
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

0

2 months ago

across, always, aspiration, bus, disappear, goal, goals, humor, i, interview, interviewer, joke, me, meant, professional, professional goal, someone, stare, street, wanted
My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

0

2 months ago

again, alone, being, caffeine, humor, introvert, kind, kindness, language, left, love, love language, relationships, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

58 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

32 shares on X this month:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Spotted on Discord:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Making waves on Facebook:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Going viral on Facebook:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Trending via Discord:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨