Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.
  • I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.
  • My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.
  • My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.
  • When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.
  • My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.