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Commentary:
"Priorities, my friends! Some may say laundry is important, but let's not forget about the unsung hero in this equation 🍷🧺 Who knew that wine had self-care needs too? Cheers to a perfectly balanced life! 🥂"

adulting, chores, done, drink, humor, laundry, multitasking, procrastination, relaxation, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

0

1 month ago

cold, humor, know, observation, outside, weather
The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

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2 months ago

appearance, college, dating, hot, humor, i, importance, important, lesson, life, life lesson, matter, matters, priorities, self-esteem, stress, thing, where
I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

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2 months ago

awake, grumpy, humor, mood, only, sarcasm, sleep
Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

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2 months ago

appetite, burger, date, food, frustration, fun, humor, release
You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

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2 months ago

achievement, digger, friend, friendship, gold, gold digger, group, humor, male, male friend, male group, only, seen, success, think, where
This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

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2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, cheer, different, gift, gift idea, holiday, holiday cheer, humor, ID, idea, list, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, tranquilizer, wish, wish list, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

44 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

100 shares on Threads this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

35 shares on Slack this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Going viral on X:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Making waves on Threads:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Spotted on Messenger:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Just shared via YouTube:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨