Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Breaking via Facebook:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Making waves on Telegram:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Just landed via TikTok:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When Grandma polices elbows like a TSA agent but skips 'unpacking' her opinions at customs 😂🛂"

elbow, elbows, etiquette, hypocrisy, old, old person, people, person, racism, racist, rude, say, social, social etiquette, something, table

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

0

2 months ago

creativity, fun, humor, inside, introvert, isolation, party, personality, room, self, socialize, why
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

0

2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth
Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

0

1 month ago

check, Christmas, Christmas dinner, conservative, conservative relative, dinner, experiment, family, family gathering, gathering, Grindr, humor, noise, notification, notification noise, phone, phone ringer, play, prank, relative, ringer, social, social experiment
Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

0

2 months ago

cynicism, disappointed, disappointment, hate, humor, never, party, political, political party, politics, satire
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

0

3 weeks ago

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anyone, else, fact, fun, fun fact, give, humor, i, icebreaker, interaction, introvert, listen, love, me, most, reflect, reflection, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk, time, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

24 shares on X this month:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

83 shares on Threads this month:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Live now on Reddit:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Spotted on YouTube:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Going viral on WeChat:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Shared recently on YouTube:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨