Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Spotted on Slack:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Trending via Discord:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Making waves on Telegram:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Spotted on WeChat:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Witty quote about self-awareness and humor, highlighting personal talents elsewhere.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like my talents are playing hide and seek, because they certainly aren't showing up in my daily routine! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ Maybe I'm secretly a master at procrastination and Netflix binging instead? 🤷‍♂️📺"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

27 shares on Discord this month:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Spotted on Reddit:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Breaking via Discord:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Just landed via Messenger:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Just shared via Slack:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Live now on Threads:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Broadcasted on Threads:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

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