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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,854

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Going bananas on X:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Trending via Discord:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Going bananas on Discord:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like CDs are officially collecting more dust than my gym membership! 💿😅🏋️‍♂️

burning, cd, day, even, last, last time, memory, nostalgia, outdated, realization, realize, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Work beers should be a daily thing.

5 months ago
beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

1 month ago
alone, coworkers, distraction, every, finish, humor, leave, prophecy, sentence, workplace
When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

1 month ago
city, city life, hamster, humor, life, new, New York, public, public transport, rain, smell, train, transport, york
God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

1 month ago
bad, business, change, every, francisco, God, humor, just, neighborhood, never, san, San Francisco, seen, sidewalks, skeleton, spiderweb, things
Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

4 months ago
darkness, ever, fashion, humor, inside, jeans, just, me, mood, nap, personal, personal struggle, sarcasm, sleep, struggle, understand
For whom the doom scrolls!

1 month ago
doom, humor, internet, irony, media, procrastination, reading, scroll, social, social media

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

I am half agony, half hope.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

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One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Work beers should be a daily thing.

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

For whom the doom scrolls!

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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