Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.
  • A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”
  • I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.
  • Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.
  • My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.
  • Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.