One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

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People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

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I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

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He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

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Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.