Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

4 weeks ago

Commentary:
Oh, so they’ve got a PhD in fibbing and think I'm in preschool math? 😏📚🤔

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Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

1 month ago

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Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

2 months ago

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So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

2 months ago

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All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

1 month ago

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I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

2 months ago

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Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

1 month ago

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