Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off. Posted onMay 29, 2026
In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich? Posted onMay 29, 2026
It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair. Posted onMay 29, 2026
It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist. Posted onMay 29, 2026
An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias? Posted onMay 29, 2026
Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.” Posted onMay 29, 2026
My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop? Posted onMay 29, 2026
I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business. Posted onMay 29, 2026
In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything. Posted onMay 29, 2026
No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search. Posted onMay 29, 2026