Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Just landed via Discord:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Going viral on TikTok:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Going viral on Twitch:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Trending via Messenger:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Freshly posted on X:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Social distancing: the secret ingredient to people-watching without all that pesky human interaction! 🤔😂🚪🔒

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Trending via WhatsApp:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Breaking via Telegram:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Spotted on X:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Going bananas on Threads:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

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