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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Going bananas on X:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Spotted on Threads:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Just shared via Facebook:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Spotted on TikTok:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Trending via Discord:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Social distancing: the secret ingredient to people-watching without all that pesky human interaction! 🤔😂🚪🔒

away, bad, distancing, humor, introvert, outside, people, social, social distancing, solitude, stay, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

0

2 months ago

bed, breakfast, current, humor, laziness, lying, manifest, morning, relaxing, situation, trying
Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

0

2 months ago

3, am, dislike, friend, going, hang, hangout, home, i, late, late night, night, only, person, place, sleepover, socializing, spending, still
To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

0

4 months ago

budget, frugality, home, humor, just, money, save, saving, saving money, stay, stay-at-home
Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

0

2 months ago

guy, hug, humor, interaction, irony, loneliness, prison, social, social interaction, thinking
Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

0

2 months ago

bowl, bowling, comedy, football, humor, irony, question, sports, super, Super Bowl, why
There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

0

2 months ago

apparently, big, big cat, case, casual, cat, coolers, cougar, cougar warning, humor, i, just, misunderstanding, neighborhood, neighborhood safety, nothing, safety, warning, wine, wine coolers

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on X this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Live now on Snapchat:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Spotted on Slack:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Just landed via X:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Spotted on X:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Spotted on YouTube:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨