Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Seen just now on Facebook:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Live now on X:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Just shared via Telegram:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Going viral on Slack:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Live now on Pinterest:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

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Commentary:
Looks like they're stuck in a fraction of their full potential! 🤔🔢😄

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

43 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

68 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,635

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Breaking via Snapchat:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Going viral on Reddit:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Live now on TikTok:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Going viral on YouTube:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

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