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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending via Instagram:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Just landed via Slack:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Trending via X:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Going viral on Threads:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Live now on Messenger:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Breaking via Reddit:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

2 months ago

0

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they're stuck in a fraction of their full potential! 🤔🔢😄

decimal, difference, humor, joke, math, math humor, missing, misunderstanding, number, numbers, people, point, pun, tell, whole, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

0

5 months ago

around, body, feel, feeling, humor, literally, moon, ocean, science, think, tide
People who scream sneeze need their own island.

0

2 months ago

humor, island, isolation, need, own, people, scream, sneeze, unique
Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

0

2 months ago

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense
Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

0

4 months ago

appearance, distant, good, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, photogenic, self-deprecating
When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

0

2 months ago

computer, fix, generation, humor, i, kids, knows, older, only, parents, technology, work, young, youth
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

0

3 weeks ago

advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

11 shares on X this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,041

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Making waves on Reddit:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Live now on Instagram:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Breaking via WeChat:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Making waves on Slack:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Spotted on Reddit:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

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