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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,014

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Spotted on Discord:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Just shared via Discord:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Meanwhile, in the cola peace talks: "Can't we all just fizz along?" 🥤✌️😄

Coca Cola, conflict, even, humor, irony, peace, Pepsi, restaurant, rivalry, same, want, world, world peace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

1 month ago
apple, apples, berry, humor, i, imagination, imagine, just, second, size, wish
A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

2 months ago
castle, garage, home, humor, man, personal, personal space, sanctuary, space
The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

1 month ago
biting, diet, humor, idiot, idiots, just, sarcasm, tongue
My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

3 months ago
ambition, bed, humor, influence, laziness, me, motivation, procrastination, relatable, sleep
Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

1 month ago
blame, clothing, frustration, humor, jeans, mystery, shrink, wardrobe
Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

1 month ago
adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Just landed via WeChat:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Going viral on Instagram:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Just landed via Instagram:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

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Activity Log ✨

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

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Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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