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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,923

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Freshly posted on Slack:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Live now on WeChat:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Making waves on Discord:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Trending via Snapchat:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Seen just now on X:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Live now on Snapchat:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

2 months ago

0

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"📞🔙 Petition to bring back payphones: teaching kids the value of communication, one quarter at a time! Who needs a smartphone when you can dial your friends the old-school way? Plus, it's a lot cheaper to replace a lost quarter than a lost iPhone! 😂 #BackToTheGoodOldDays"

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

0

1 month ago

behind, every, eye, eye roll, eyes, great, humor, media, person, roll, rolling, sarcasm, social, social media, tweet
Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

0

3 weeks ago

another, humor, just, Monday, reheated, repetition, tired, Tuesday, weekday, workweek
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

0

2 months ago

aging, excuse, experience, growing, growing up, humor, life, think, young, youth
Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

0

2 months ago

card, card game, family, game, game night, humor, ID, learn, learning, love, night, sarcasm, sure, yes
A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

0

2 months ago

activity, agree, app, concept, dating, dating app, fight, fun, fun activity, funny concept, humorous, humorous idea, idea, meet, meet up, relationship, unhinged, where
Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

0

2 months ago

aging, fruit, humor, perspective, raisin, still, sweet, sweetness, wrinkle, wrinkles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

100 shares on X this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,063

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Broadcasted on Discord:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Shared recently on X:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Shared recently on Threads:

Happy new fear!

Just shared via TikTok:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Going viral on Slack:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

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