Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,580

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Going bananas on Slack:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Trending via Threads:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Going bananas on Facebook:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Making waves on Messenger:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"📞🔙 Petition to bring back payphones: teaching kids the value of communication, one quarter at a time! Who needs a smartphone when you can dial your friends the old-school way? Plus, it's a lot cheaper to replace a lost quarter than a lost iPhone! 😂 #BackToTheGoodOldDays"

activity, back, bring, fun, fun activity, give, i, kid, nostalgia, parenting, payphone, petition, phone, place, places, public, public place, quarter, technology, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

63 shares on Threads this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Going viral on Reddit:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Just landed via YouTube:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Just landed via Instagram:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

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