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Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don't worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature's just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama

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At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

1 month ago
around, breath, everyone, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, lift, little, me, revolve, self-centered, weight, world
A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

4 months ago
behavior, chaos, child, child behavior, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, minute, most, people, productivity, toddler, unsupervised, unsupervised minute
The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

1 month ago
battery, cell, cell phone, humor, life, low, low battery, modern, modern life, phone, serious, technology, warning
I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

1 month ago
bomb, comparison, flower, fragile, humor, irony, toughness
To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

2 months ago
again, apology, better, everyone, humor, i, improvement, next, offended, offense, sarcasm, year
Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

1 month ago
appointments, around, awkward, bit, dentist, humor, meet, mouth, nice, root, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Just landed via Slack:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Making waves on X:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Spotted on Telegram:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

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Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

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Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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