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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Going viral on Threads:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Shared recently on X:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Going bananas on Slack:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

2 months ago

0

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don't worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature's just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama

again, broken, funny observation, humor, i, nature, observation, rain, sky, thing, thought, weather, weird, well, yellow, yellow thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

0

2 months ago

boy, breakup, contact, contacts, delete, every, game, gone, hangman, humor, letter, name, names, relationship, revenge, time, upset
Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend
Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

0

2 months ago

almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm
If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

0

2 months ago

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women
Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

0

3 months ago

boom, casual, casual tone, communication, email, emails, expression, funny phrase, humor, phrase, shakalaka, signature, slang, today, tone
I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

0

3 months ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

38 shares on X this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Just landed via Telegram:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Broadcasted on Slack:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Making waves on Threads:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Live now on YouTube:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Trending via WeChat:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

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