Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

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Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

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My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

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I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

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So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

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I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

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Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

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Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

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An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.