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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,004

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Going viral on Threads:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Spotted on Discord:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Trending via Snapchat:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Making waves on X:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Making waves on Instagram:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Spotted on X:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

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Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?
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Commentary:
Oh, playing the long game is just like Monopoly – except instead of hotels and houses, it's all about adulting and making important life choices! 🎲💼 Don't forget to pass "Go" and collect a sense of accomplishment along the way! 😉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

61 shares on Discord this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

54 shares on Discord this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,964

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Spotted on TikTok:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Trending via Twitch:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Live now on Reddit:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

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