Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew that hill-walking could be mistaken for an emergency cardio workout? 🚑 Next time, maybe we'll add a fake oxygen tank for dramatic effect! 💨 #WalkingTales"

911, breathe, call, ever, exercise, hand, hill, quieter, raise, relatable, strangers, tried, walking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, drive, humor, i, ID, less, morning, relief, stress, stress relief, tank, transportation, work
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

0

5 months ago

appearance, before, complaining, complaint, grooming, haircut, humor, men, need, ones, people, wait, waiting
Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

0

2 months ago

avoid, detachment, freedom, happiness, introvert, nothing, people, social, solitude, want
Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, confidence, humor, i, insult, know, me, self-awareness, ugly
The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

0

2 months ago

air, air dryer, bathroom, dryer, fact, hands, humor, moment, paper, paper towel, put, realization, struggle, technology, time, towel
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

0

2 months ago

call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on X this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Breaking via Messenger:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Making waves on Facebook:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Making waves on Telegram:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Just landed via Messenger:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Breaking via X:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Seen just now on Discord:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Going bananas on Slack:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨