Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from has downloaded:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from has downloaded:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

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Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

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Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

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Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from has copied:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

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Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

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Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

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That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

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Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.