Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Going viral on Slack:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Just landed via Facebook:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Shared recently on X:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Going viral on Discord:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Just landed via Telegram:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Just shared via WeChat:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"At least your love life is in safe hands… even if your wallet isn’t! 😂💸👐"

gentle, hands, humor, joke, last, pickpocket, relationship, status

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

2 months ago

comedy, commentary, documentary, humor, Idiocracy, satire, social, social commentary
There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

5 months ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

3 months ago

humor, i, nap, procrastination, sleep, take, tiredness, tomorrow, want
Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

3 months ago

after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht
I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

1 week ago

boredom, dilemma, enjoyment, entertainment, finishing, hate, i, series, sery
About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, four, humor, i, minutes, motivation, personality, procrastination, run, running, self-improvement, want, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Seen just now on Twitch:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Live now on Threads:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Seen just now on Instagram:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Making waves on YouTube:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Seen just now on X:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨