Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Relationship status: I've set the bar low and surprisingly, nobody has tripped over it yet. 🤷‍♂️🎉 #WinningAtLove"

cheating, humor, me, neat, nobody, pretty, relationship, single, status

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

0

2 months ago

breed, cash, cow, humor, joke, pun, value
My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, best, buying, dinner, friend, house, humor, i, lifestyle, marriage, married, popcorn, priorities
I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, before, finished, hate, hope, hot, hot water, humor, i, run, sarcasm, shower, water
I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

0

2 months ago

favorite, frustration, hate, humor, i, live, lose, losing, pen, sarcasm, things, will to live, work
I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

0

2 months ago

behavior, breakfast, humor, hunger, i, know, mood, morning
A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

0

2 months ago

body, clumsiness, feet, funny moment, guy, humor, i, just, leap, lot, me, moment, over, own, parking, parking lot, quantum, quantum leap, saw, self-deprecation, trip, unexpected, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

100 shares on Discord this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

29 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

62 shares on Discord this month:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Going viral on Telegram:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Spotted on Telegram:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Just shared via X:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Making waves on X:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Freshly posted on Threads:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨