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Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Spotted on Reddit:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Spotted on X:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Live now on Messenger:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Breaking via X:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Shared recently on Threads:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just shared via Instagram:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Throwback to the days when mice were the real influencers! 🐭🧀🎉

big, bite, cheese, mouse, party, piece, remember, rocking, tonight, tweet, Tweets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

1 month ago

expectation, frustration, humor, last, limit, patience, perspective, straw, surprise, thought
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

1 month ago

attitude, humor, hydrated, hydration, just, kill, laugh, let, little, motivation, much, people, positivity, reminder, self-care, stay, vibe
On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

1 month ago

adventure, anything, fantasy, humor, journey, Mordor, need, nerd, quest
I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

1 month ago

age, elderly, humor, i, life, life stage, people, perspective, stage, where
I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

1 month ago

14, animal, baby, cat, hours, humor, i, nap, regret, regrets, responsibility, rest, sleep, want, zero

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Just landed via WeChat:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Trending via Reddit:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Live now on Instagram:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

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Activity Log ✨

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

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Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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