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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Seen just now on Threads:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Just landed via Telegram:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Going viral on Slack:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Live now on Discord:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Throwback to the days when mice were the real influencers! 🐭🧀🎉

big, bite, cheese, mouse, party, piece, remember, rocking, tonight, tweet, Tweets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

2 months ago

beers, consequences, debt, drank, drinking, hangover, heavy, humor, intentions, karmic, karmic debt, philosophy
I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

2 months ago

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember
On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

3 months ago

babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting
I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

2 months ago

book, chapters, couple, creativity, humor, i, murder, mystery, only, plot, plot twist, sarcasm, twist, writing
So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

3 months ago

again, frustration, humor, i, keep, life, living, Monday, routine, tomorrow, week
Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

6 months ago

bored, boredom, creativity, food, humor, imagine, invention, mayonnaise, person

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

49 shares on Threads this month:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

71 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

36 shares on Threads this month:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Making waves on Threads:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Making waves on Slack:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨