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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Going viral on X:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Going viral on Facebook:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Trending via Facebook:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Just shared via Slack:

Oh good. Another day.

Going viral on Reddit:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about running highlighting the humorous pain versus comfort comparison.

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Commentary:
"Running: the only sport that makes you question your life choices mid-stride 🏃‍♂️😅 #RunnerProblems"

activity, compare, comparison, exercise, feels, fitness, fun, fun activity, great, humor, motivation, running

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16 shares on WeChat this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

65 shares on X this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

38 shares on Threads this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

66 shares on Slack this month:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

49 shares on Discord this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Going viral on Facebook:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Freshly posted on X:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Going bananas on Instagram:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Just landed via Telegram:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

For the record, I use a turntable.

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Keep the laugh going 😂

For the record, I use a turntable.

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨