Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Going viral on Instagram:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Trending via WeChat:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Spotted on Twitch:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Running: the only sport that makes you question your life choices mid-stride 🏃‍♂️😅 #RunnerProblems"

activity, compare, comparison, exercise, feels, fitness, fun, fun activity, great, humor, motivation, running

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, braces, care, civilization, collapse, dental, dental care, humor, i, orthodontics, people, society, think, worst, worst part
Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

0

2 months ago

cause, energy, humor, irony, just, label, loss, medication, read, removal, thinking, warning, weight, weight loss, wishful, wishful thinking, wrinkle, wrinkle removal
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

0

2 months ago

another, bit, day, frustration, humor, i, irritation, just, little, moan, mosquito, neck, sex, unexpected
Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

0

5 months ago

communication, grammar, humor, language, lesson, lessons, lot, media, social, social media, teach
I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, everyday, everyday life, house, humor, i, leave, life, people, reactions, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, weather
The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, caffeine, coffee, humor, late, me, productivity, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, workday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Discord this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

77 shares on Slack this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

44 shares on X this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Going viral on WeChat:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Going viral on TikTok:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Shared recently on Threads:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Trending via Pinterest:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨