Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the shooting star, nature's celestial do not disturb sign! 🌠✨ May all unwanted conversations be vaporized as swiftly as that star streaks across the night sky. Let the peace and quiet begin! 🤫🚀"

everyone, humor, introvert, me, saw, shooting, shooting star, solitude, star, stop, stop talking, talking, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

0

2 months ago

biscuit, body, diet, fitness, human, humor, irony, needs, nutrient, shape, slimming
Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

0

2 months ago

domination, good, humor, manners, nerd, over, remember, shame, silicon, Silicon Valley, taken, technology, valley, world, world domination
Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

0

2 months ago

betrayal, betraying, destroying, humor, kitten, mommy, nothing, sarcasm, self-destruction
I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

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3 months ago

emotion, i, jealous, jealousy, music, only, personal, personal taste, playing, someone, song, taste, thought, uniqueness
Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

0

2 months ago

humor, insomnia, media, relatable, sleep, social, social media, Twitter, welcome
My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

0

3 months ago

able, back, bed, getting, humor, i, knowing, laziness, morning, motivation, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

24 shares on Slack this month:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

87 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

91 shares on Discord this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Trending via Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Going bananas on Discord:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Spotted on WeChat:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Spotted on Telegram:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨