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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

18 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Trending via Messenger:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Going viral on Facebook:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

5 months ago

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Always make sure to keep the boss guessing 🤔💭… or at least give the illusion that you're contemplating profound matters instead of just daydreaming about lunch 🥪😂. Mastering the art of 'Hmmmm' can take your workplace presence from 'average employee' to 'deep thinker extraordinaire' in no time! 😆 #BossMindGames"

boss, communication, distraction, humor, knows, office, saying, strategy, stuff, thinking, walks, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

18 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Just shared via Telegram:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Live now on Threads:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Trending via Pinterest:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Going viral on Messenger:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

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