Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Going viral on Facebook:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Trending via YouTube:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Just shared via Telegram:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

5 days ago

Playful quote about pretending to think when boss enters, humorous and relatable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Always make sure to keep the boss guessing 🤔💭… or at least give the illusion that you're contemplating profound matters instead of just daydreaming about lunch 🥪😂. Mastering the art of 'Hmmmm' can take your workplace presence from 'average employee' to 'deep thinker extraordinaire' in no time! 😆 #BossMindGames"

boss, communication, distraction, humor, knows, office, saying, strategy, stuff, thinking, walks, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

62 shares on Discord this month:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Why do I have to take care of this idiot (me) every single day? Can’t she do anything on her own?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Spotted on Slack:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Seen just now on YouTube:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Going viral on Facebook:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

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