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Don't fret, you must just be too speedy for them to catch up! 🏃‍♂️🦅 Just remember to practice your heel-toe dance moves in case they try to swoop in for a high-five! 😉

buzzard, circle, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, me, nature, run, should, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

0

2 months ago

another, fencing, guys, humorous, joke, kiss, kissing, playful, romantic, should, sport, trying, variant
Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

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2 months ago

authentication, call, condom, humor, joke, protection, pull, pull out, safety, sex, still, two-factor, two-factor authentication, using
This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

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2 months ago

humor, kidney, kidney stone, lesson, life, life lesson, optimism, pass, patience, perseverance, stone, struggle, this too shall pass, too, wisdom
Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

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2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, everyone, eye, eyes, funny activity, googly, googly eye, humor, introduction, new, potato, prank, sticking
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

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2 months ago

adventure, camping, fortune, humor, irony, live, outdoor, poor
My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

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2 months ago

beer, bruised, cold, cold beer, drinking, ego, going, humor, ice, relaxation, self-care

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Going viral on Instagram:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Live now on X:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Just shared via Reddit:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Making waves on Threads:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Going bananas on X:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨