Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Don't fret, you must just be too speedy for them to catch up! 🏃‍♂️🦅 Just remember to practice your heel-toe dance moves in case they try to swoop in for a high-five! 😉

buzzard, circle, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, me, nature, run, should, worry

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49 shares on Instagram this month:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

73 shares on X this month:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Why does Bruce Wayne, the billionaire, not simply rig Gotham City’s elections in favor of tough-on-crime candidates?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Spotted on Messenger:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Making waves on Telegram:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

Live now on WeChat:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Trending via Telegram:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Trending via YouTube:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Going viral on Discord:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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